Truths About Me

These are just a list of things that I realize that I will never do.

1. I will never start my diet “tomorrow.”
– This is all do to the fact that donuts are too good and life is too short. Maybe next week is a better goal.

2. I will never put any percentage of my paycheck into my savings.
– I will most likely spend my entire paycheck within the first couple of days, because the cost of living is too high, and of course, I need another pair of shoes.

3. I will never learn another language.
– There’s not enough time in a day and I don’t have the attention span or patience.

4. I will never be excited to go to work.
– Except for maybe my last day of working.

5. I will never find a movie that scares me to death.
– No matter how many horror films I watch, I just won’t find one that’ll make me pee myself.

6. I will never be the first one to die in a horror movie.
– Going along with point #5, I have enough sense to at least turn on the light before I walk down a hallway.

7. Things will never go completely as expected.
– I need to learn how to make room for surprises and not let little things throw me off course.

8. My boyfriend will never be able read my mind.
– No matter how hard I wish that he’ll wake up with that sixth sense, I’m better off just telling him what’s on my mind.

9. I’ll never look like the girls in magazines.
– Photoshop can do wonderful things, including set a new standard for women. I however, will never be tall, thin and tan. Genetics just don’t call for it.

10. The choices that I make in life are never anybody else’s fault.
– I’m a big girl, I have to take responsibility for the things that I do…no matter how dumb they might be.

11. Writing may never make me any money.
– It’s still the only thing that brings me absolute joy, so why not dream a little more?

2 comments

  1. kelvinoralph · July 3, 2014

    Really nice and funny. I like the jobs aspect and learning other languages. Same here. I can only speak English. Dnt think my brain has room for others… Haha

  2. Nostrikethat · July 8, 2014

    Funny stuff, keep writing! Although as an old person I would advise you to re-consider #2. You know what’s better than a new pair of shoes? Money in the bank. Money = freedom. I don’t have many regrets in life, but I do regret not having learned this a lot sooner.

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