Birthday Blues

I know it is a little early to be writing about my birthday, since it is still almost two months away. Something has just been bothering me about it lately. Every year, I get really excited for my birthday and then nothing really comes of it. I don’t even get excited for presents. I get excited at the thought that my friends will take the time out of their day to spend time with me and let me know that I’m special. Here’s the thing, every year I make plans with my friends and every year almost all of them bail on me.

Now my family has done a pretty good job at spending time with me for my birthday. And I do have to give credit to Megan for always spending time with me. It’s just, I thought that I made more of an impact on people. I just want them to show me that they care. Am I just being crazy?

I want to hope that this year is different, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’ll pan out like most of my other birthdays.

For The Time capsule: A Year In Reverse

There’s nothing better than late night reflection. All my body wants to do is sleep, something that I haven’t been doing much of, and yet my mind wants to take a trip down memory lane. So let’s do it. Here’s a list of all the great/and not so great achievements that I have made in the last year.

1. I fell in love.
– This isn’t supposed to be one of those mushy blog posts that I enjoy to write so much. Nonetheless this is an achievement. I’ve found someone who is almost a complete carbon-copy of me. He’s goofy and a little weird, but our personalities mesh in a way that I can’t even begin to explain.

2. I graduated high school.
– I’m not sure how many people, if any doubted my ability to graduate.

3. I moved in with my dad.
– Not very many people know about the trials that I’ve been through with my family and it’s not something I’m ready to openly discuss. This however, was an achievement. Before the move I couldn’t tell you the last time I spent more than 3 consecutive days with my dad, but over the summer I managed to live at his house for a few months.

4. I moved into an apartment with my boyfriend.
– Don’t get me wrong, living with my dad was great, however his house was way too far away from work and my friends. I still had things to do here. The freedom is great and all, but I do miss those home-cooked meals from my mom and also not having to worry about bills.

5. I started a new job.
– Before I switched departments, I was the lowest paid employee. I’m now making enough to live off of and I’m not as stressed out about finances. On top of that, I enjoy working with most of my new co-workers.

6. I started college.
– I know for a fact that a lot of people thought that I wouldn’t make this step to further my education. I completed my first semester about a month ago, but I had to take this semester off due to some financial difficulties. I do plan on returning in the fall.

7. I crashed my car.
– I am definitely not proud of this one at all. I was involved in my first car accident just over two months ago and my car is down for the count at the moment.

8. I have changed my way of thinking.
– I have set myself apart from most people that I graduated with. I’m not “YOLO-ing” my way into alcoholism or drug addiction. I have remained grounded and have made myself more goal-oriented.

9. I no longer associate with people who are bad for me.
– I’ve had my fair share of toxic relationships and I’m proud that I have been able to recognize them. When a lot of things started to change in my life, I realized who was really there for me and who wasn’t.

10. I’ve remained in contact with my best friend.
– Megan and I may not talk or see each other as much as we used to. However, I know that she’s still there for me and I hope that she knows that I’m there for her too. I miss spending almost every weekend with her, but I’m proud to still be able to call her my longest and closest friendship.

11. I managed to make a new friend.
– After graduating high school, it has been pretty hard for me to remain social. However, when a new position opened at work, I met this weird girl, Brielle. I use the word ‘weird’ as a term of endearment. Just like the word ‘bitch’ is a term of endearment to her. The age difference between us is a little strange, but our personalities are one of the same. I’m glad to have met someone that I can really connect with inside and outside of work.